Fifty Two to 30

Have you ever been so cheap you’ve done something ridiculous just to save money? I am the kind of person who only eats fruit Monday-Friday because it’s provided in my office. I am the kind of person who will actively leave the house needing to poop so I can use the free toilet paper at the train station, or my office, or wherever I am going. I am the kind of person who went to gyms for months, but didn’t pay a cent in membership fees. I got to thinking after being aggressively handed a flier by a man in an orange morph suit one morning, who actually uses all these free gym trials? Given the volume of fliers, there must be hundreds of places you could do free trials at. After some brief research, I found 10 gyms convenient to me, and worked out that I could effectively work out for free for several months. The ultimate cheapskate scheme. This is not my first foray into cheapskate behaviour. I’ve been known to see how long I can go without grocery shopping, eating pasta and var...

Don’t blame me. Love made me crazy. I’ve written about the fairy tales, or lack thereof in my life and the bleak rejection only a fuckboy can evoke before, so I won’t rehash it. This post is a brutal introspection of my own self worth. The self worth that I have misguidedly entirely placed in others. If you know me, none of it will be a surprise, except maybe that I’ve only just had this rather obvious realisation. Literally, I had this realisation driving home at 10:30pm last night while singing to ol’ Tay-Tay on the freeway.   It started when I was 17. The story is cliche; chubby, uncool teenager meets a boy and suddenly is happy. Except the boy only hung out with me because he had it bad for my best friend, unbeknownst to me she had it bad for him too. They say your first love is the hardest to get over, but I think they’re all just as bad, that one just sets the bar that all others will be measured against. The bar was pretty low, a lover always in secret, two bes...

I am always cold, my feet get so cold they hurt, and then I can't sleep. So I over-dress and over-blanket myself (I've been known to wear my ugg boots to bed), all in an effort to get warm. It works, but then I get so hot during the night that then I have bizarrely vivid dreams. Like, all the time. I started keeping a dream journal, but it got too overwhelming reading back over it (much like this blog, ha). There are some dreams though, that have stayed with me far longer than is useful for my mental state. Of course there are the childhood nightmares. You know, like the one where the alien comes through your window so many times in a row, that you have to swap bedrooms with your sister to try and escape the fear. Or the one where your next door neighbours house blows up in such a horrifying explosion that it causes you to have insomnia for longer than you care to admit No? Just me? Other dreams have stayed with me for sheer ridiculousness. An alarming number feature me mee...